While its not as sexy as i dreamed—decorating the table with my fiance as my new engagement ring sparkles in the chandelier—I’m very excited.

And stressed.

In less than a week my sister and I will be hosting seven members of our family at my apartment in Chicago.

Amidst our preparation over the last month there have been countless lists, several spats, a dozen phone calls and about 10 thousand recipes. And perhaps one or two panic attacks.

So in light of my experience planning my first thanksgiving (results pending, of course), I’ve come up with six ways to maintain your sanity when you’re the host; a handful of quick, at-a-glance survival tips to help your event run (even more) smoothly.

1. Have a plan

Make a game plan for the day including recipes, oven temps, allergies, etc. Make sure to schedule in 15 extra minutes for each cooking component. I happen to be an avid list maker, but my sister Emma always takes it up a notch with lists that include detailed time schedules.

I have often mocked her for these meticulous lists she makes (especially the time she plotted out our entire weekend with our mom including time slots for coffee and conversation)

A Thanksgiving spreadsheet may be going too far, but being organized is key

But for this occasion, her schedule making came in handy. We’ve planned what we are making and when, with time scheduled for cleanup and table prep. While this step may seem tedious up front, once you have everything down on paper you will feel ready to tackle anything.

2. Divide and Conquer

Whatever you do, do not do this alone. I know, I know. You’re probably thinking, “Isn’t this all about hosting your own thanksgiving?” But in order to escape this first feat unscathed you have to find a partner in crime, or several. Dole out tasks specific to the guest/family member’s age and abilities. Put your cousin and her husband on appetizer duty. Tell Uncle Larry to bring the wine. Have your teenage niece set the table. Working together is what the first thanksgiving was about anyway, isn’t it?

3. K.I.S.S.

Thats right, Keep it simple, stupid. Don’t try and get too fancy on your first run. Stick to traditional items and limit yourself to one new fun dish. I found a killer recipe on Epicurious.com for chipotle sweet potatoes. Even Aunt Helen can’t complain about that.

4. Stay Calm

Pick some key “gloss overs” in case any uncomfortable topics arise.

In our family we like to avoid the three D’s: divorce, debt and the Dow.

If for some reason these subjects arise we have armed ourselves with some key gloss over transitions like, “Drew, tell us about your new job!” or “So Mike, what is Portland like this time of year?”. The last thing a Thanksgiving dinner needs is uncomfortable conversation or—heaven forbid—a full blown fight. Keep in mind a few harmless topic areas that will provide safe transition back to neutral ground. You’ll be glad you did.

5. Set the Mood

I come from the belief that candles make everything better. Dim the lights, put on some Michael Buble or Mat Kearney and watch the atmosphere take on a much more peaceful vibe (or if you’re one of those freaky families that listens to Christmas music before Thanksgiving, play some Bing Crosby). You’ll be surprised how relaxed you’ll feel when the ambiance is right.

6. Personalize it

Find one way to make this dinner your own. Come up with a ‘What are you thankful for?’ game by using the alphabet and going around the table and having each guest name something they’re thankful for (start with A and so on and so forth).

Avoid the three Ds and avoid a fight

Another option is to make fun and unique place cards for the table. I go to Real Simple for creative and festive table setting ideas. At the very least, buy yourself a fun apron. These are the personalized moments where you get to take advantage of your privileges as hostess.

7. Remember your priorities

Don’t be a perfectionist. No one is going to notice your mistakes (except, maybe your mother-in-law). There’s a first time for everything — hiccups and road bumps are to be expected. Relax and laugh about it.

Whatever you do, don’t let the real meaning behind this holiday escape you: there is a lot we all have to be thankful for.

In closing, I thought you all might appreciate some sarcastic advice I received from my friends while researching this topic. I asked, “What advice do you have for someone hosting their first Thanksgiving?”

• Limit your time with family so you can still be thankful for them when they leave
• Tell your guests that dinner is served 40 minutes before the actual time so that all of your notoriously late friends will be early
• Don’t host Thanksgiving
• Have a turkey pinata to release pent up energy
• Wine. And then more wine