But don't fret—that's what I'm here for. (Not the singing and dancing. Although that can possibly be arranged.)
Here’s the thing: you only have a few seconds to impress people with your website—so you gotta be real but you also gotta be *real* interesting.
Consumers these days are essentially a bunch of savages who are constantly inundated with flashy images and words which means they basically have the attention span of a 2 year old on an airplane.
So, um, you gotta get it right OR PAY THE PRICE. But seriously. Everyone is an “entrepreneur” these days, so your audience has droves of people to choose from. SO, WHY YOU? Why should they trust you, love you, click past your home page to learn more? The words you sling on your website are often the difference between a sale and a sigh. And if you’re anything like the any other business owner in all the land—you wanna sell your shit.
This is your one stop shop for unexpected, disobedient, eye-opening, witty copy that will make your competitors furious with jealousy and your clients shoving hundos in your face.
And since it’s not just how you say it, but why you’re saying it, I’ll provide the messaging strategy piece too. (In the form of my biz partner and brand strategy wiz, Allie LeFevere).
OOH DID YOU SAY A BUZZWORD?
Yes, “messaging strategy.” Allie (who has worked with hundreds of entrepreneurs) will start off this whole shebang by taking you through our questionnaire, helping you concoct sharper, smarter ideas, and making sure your niche is tight, your message is clear, and that your ship is set to sail towards the island of big, fat, standout success.
I TAKE IT FROM THERE AND APPLY THE DARK ART OF HUMOR WORDSMITHING.
I’ve got 8+ years worth of experience plus an incurably clever brain plus an extensive wine collection that will aid me in drafting up some messaging that will fully represent you in a way that makes your customers laugh out loud and jump into your arms.
SO. Whether you’re building a brand new site and the thought of writing everything makes you want to move to Cuba OR you’re staring at your current website, embarrassed at how tame, lame, or just off your messaging is, OR SOME WILD PLACE IN BETWEEN…I got you.
My process is simple—some may call it quick and dirty (I’ve been called worse)—and if you do your part (tell us who your people are, what they most want, and how you’re gonna give it to them) then we’ll take your nuts and bolts and build a hot damn masterpiece.
BASIC
$3000
Creative Messaging Strategy Call + Brainstorm
Home, About, Services web pages (the main jams)
Opt in Sequence Copy (sign up copy, thank you page, welcome email)
Unlimited Edits (within reason, people)
2 week turnaround time
A rip-roaring good time + outrageous, outstanding, rain-making copy you just can't get elsewhere
Custom Quote
We'll see!
If what you need doesn't fall into the basic package above, just hit me up with what you need and I will crank out ye olde estimate. Yay!
Step 1: Email me at rushbomb@gmail.com to throw elbows and get on the ‘ol schedule (a 50% deposit secures you a spot.) P.S. Don’t be surprised/mad if you have to wait a month or two, things fill up fast!
Step 2: You fill out some juicy questions to get to the grit of what content you need, who you are, who you’re talking to, and how exactly you want to sound (hint: it won’t be boring) + make an appointment with Allie for your kickoff brainstorm call.
Step 3: You have your 30 minute call with Allie and fall in love with her wit and brainpower and feel even more confident about your biz than ever before. She then delivers to me a killer brand document with your answers + her big-picture add-ons.
Step 4: On our start week, I take what Allie has gloriously prepared and start making those words dance. One week from then, I’ll share a draft with you through my boyfriend, Google Docs (he’s the best!), and dish out that final invoice.
Step 5: Week 2 is where you review all the copy and make any and all comments, revisions, requests, etc. I hop in and take all of your additions and finesse it into final copy, and we both look fondly at the shiny, new content and then send it off into the wilderness to woo and gather your future clients and dozens of thousands of dollars.
BOOM BOOM POW you’ve done something incredible in just 2 weeks. And how often can you say THAT?

Argent
HI, WE’RE ARGENT—
a rowdy collective on a mission to make clothing that equips women to push the envelope and take their seat at the table. We’re into those who take charge, make noise, and drop-kick the glass ceiling. We’ve found that turning things on their heads is not only where we find the most inspiration, it’s also where we have the most fun. So we want to build a community that wants to do the same—and we’re starting by making functional clothes with attitude. Here’s to changing the conversation (and your clothes).

Telos by TK
Self-care shouldn’t be “trendy.”
It shouldn’t exist only in glossy magazine pages or filtered Instagrams.
Instead? It should be a daily, doable part of your life that empowers you, frees you, and enables you to pursue—and crush—your goals.

Bedroc
Technology is the easy part.
We believe when you build on smart people, creative thinking and sound logic, a solution always comes to the surface. We’re the folks with both the know-how and gumption to solve your complex business issues through the right use of technology.

Xerva
As much fun as a mullet is, you don’t want your data to be business in the front, party in the back. Instead of slick visualizations made from drunken, sloppy data, we’ll flip the whole thing around: giving you error-proof data that’s organized, accessible, and totally has its crap together. And we do the flippin thing through DWaaS – data warehouse as a service. Save the party for when your accurate analyzation impresses your boss, makes money for your client, and gets you that raise. Check out how our DWAAS works here.

Hey, Sweet Pea
This just in: your brand is not your logo. Or your name. Or the mission statement you wrote once upon a launch. Your brand is what others say it is; especially when you’re not in the room. It’s what your customers feel and trust about your company. So you better get it right. (We’ll help.)

The Uncaged Life
YOU KNOW HER.
She’s always off on some adventure. That is, when she’s not killing it in her online biz. Or actually, while she’s killing it in her biz. She’s going places (both literally and figuratively). She knows what she wants and she knows how to get it. Online and off. She’s not waiting for permission to stand out (and be heard) in her industry.She makes her own hours (and her own rules. Oh, and lots of money.)
And the worst part? She makes it all look easy, and fun.
So the only thing better than watching her from afar, on social media, while she goes about her business living the life (and career) you want?
IS TO BECOME HER.
Want to see some of my work in the wild? Click on one of these babies.
Bedroc, Small Business Bodyguard, Blue Sushi, One Brave Cowgirl, Plank Seafood, Flexxive Learning | Bellevue University, Baby Small | Urban Child Institute, Be Awesome on Purpose, Katie Den Ouden Coaching, Jennifer Lyons